Office Romance: How do you understand and deal with them?

Office camaraderie sometimes turns to office romance

At work, opposite sex friendships often grow among coworkers and sometimes, more often than you would probably guess, those friendships can turn into romances. It may add to the thrills of the job, but below are a few ways to deal with them in an effective and appropriate way.

Office Romances are the natural progression of the social setting

The social center for young adults shifts as they leave school and move into the working world. Time spent at colleges or universities provide a few years more of sheltered social opportunities. However, once that is over, the meeting grounds for new friendships and relationships become scarcer. Of course, there are still the possibilities of chance acquaintances, but those are becoming rarer these days as we spend more energy fearing strangers than introducing ourselves to them. There are internet sites, and maybe some outside of work social events. You might get extremely lucky and find someone who is not already married at church but overall it is harder out there after college. So, what is left? Work.

New jobs can be exciting

A new job often will present new social opportunities where friendships and relationships are made. As we get older and busier in our lives, there are fewer opportunities to make new friends. It is actually quite a natural process to look around at work because work is where we spend most of our time. An office romance may be a great solution when long days leave little time for social life, but be aware of the situation and risks involved. In fact, 43% of American workers say they have dated a fellow employee and 34% of those reported it resulted in a marriage (survey conducted by CareerBuilder.com, 2006). In simpler terms, almost half of us have done it, and a third of those met our mates that way.

The nature of office relationships

Although there is a lot of bad press surrounding some rather famous office romance mishaps, it is not necessarily that it was an office romance that caused the problem; it is because it was an inappropriate romance and it would not have mattered where it started. Friendships or relationships happen wherever you find them.

Developing a relationship at work can be a little dicey. The convenience is wonderful but the risks can be high, as well. You could end up in a wonderful relationship, or you can also end up someone’s “ex” and out of a job at the same time.

Office relationships can affect productivity at work

Office relationships, like all new relationships can affect work. Most people involved in a new office romance believe that the new romance provides them with more energy, creativity, rejuvenated and motivated.  On balance, though, as time goes by, and things are less idyllic, those revved-up emotions can get in the way of personal and professional objectives when worry about the relationship not going right overcomes thoughts. When the frustrations spill over, the rest of the office staff can also be affected and that will require management intervention. Make sure your productivity is up to par regardless of your personal happenings

Whom to date: the risks vary

Even when dating a colleague jealousies can arise, but at least there is no assumed power one has over the other.

Dating one of your subordinates is more risky. That takes greater care. The supervisor must never show any favoritism of any kind or it can damage other work relationships and could jeopardize your supervisory position.

Dating the boss takes potential trouble to an entirely different level. There is a greater potential that the mere existence of the relationship can affect company morale, and that may be more than the boss can handle.

Consider how it might end

People almost never consider the potential outcomes of a breakup at the outset. You should work out a plan, while you are still close and can never imagine it not working out, how you each will behave if the worst should happen. Those types of conversations are easiest early on and people usually end up doing what they say they would do when cooler heads prevailed.

Keep private communications private

Whether you are falling in love or breaking up, one thing to remember is never to use the company’s email or instant messaging systems. Anything you say can and will be used against you by everyone in the office. There is absolutely no privacy there. The rule of thumb is, never put anything in company email or messaging that you wouldn’t write on a post card and post on a wall.

Keeping your company clear of complications

Management should anticipate that office romances are going to happen. Having a lot of rules about fraternization may not make a difference to whether the relationship will develop or not, but it will make a lot of difference to what role company management has to play. Having absolutely clear policies describing exactly where the line is drawn around legal issues, etc., and having them explained and posted will make it clear what employees can expect from management if the relationships begin to effect either productivity or morale. Be aware that an office romance could end up as a conflict resolution or termination issue in your office.

Have a policy developed; then, enforce it

A policy of total opposition is impractical. Like other extreme positions, you usually live long enough to regret them. Of course, once you take a stand on a policy, you must enforce your position. You can offer help through an Employee Assistance Program for those stricken with broken hearts to assist them in getting help in healing. Look at each case individually, avoid any gender or positional bias, and act in accordance with the best interests of the company—and the law.

In all, being clear and calm about what is expected will make the issue of office romances a lot easier to deal with.